prettylils

OH the shame!

Mon, 27 Apr 2009 00:37:22 GMT

she's been out with Daddy all day. Doing normal things, shopping, having lunch, talking. she knows better then to tell Him that she's horny, but she does. Like He can't tell already. Like He can't tell by the gleam in her eye and the smile she gets when He looks her way. And He loves to tease His little toy. To touch and brush and tease when no one is looking. To whisper softly the things He would do to her if they were alone. To have her in His bed. To lick and taste her pussy. To use her as she's tied to His bed.
*sigh* and she gets wet and stays that way.
Alone at home at last, she needs relief. she needs to play. But not just masterbate, she needs to feel dirty and used. she gets out her book and her vibrator. her Vaseline. Naked, she gets on the bed and turns the book to her favorite passage. she thinks about what she does and how it makes her feel.
The things she likes, so dirty, so humiliating and against the good girl she knows she should be. she feels humiliation at the way she craves being told like a child at times what she should wear as if incapable of picking out an outfit of her own. The embarrassment of the secret fulfillment she gets from being forced to wear a butt plug in public or being made to wear nipple clamps to bed. she just shakes her head, knowing that she does not understand why she craves these things, only that she needs them. And that He understands it and knows best.
Just as she knows she will be humiliated and embarrassed by what she is about to do. she will most likely bleed later and the next day and that will silently thrill her all over again. she turns to the well read page in her book where some poor slave is getting what she deserves. What she craves and what her Master has decided to reward her with. she is bound to an ottoman type thing. All holes exposed and she is used by a party of men. All holes used as they wish, indiscriminately, against her will.
This sub likes the idea of anal play. Likes the idea of anal rape, but is usually unable to take very much anal play. But as she reads, she slowly sits down onto her vibrator, she feels the violation to her ass and tries to relax as she feels the same ultimate use that she reads of. she imagines the feeling of men using her mouth and pussy and ass at the permission and guidance of her Daddy, bound and unable to struggle. she turns the vibrator up higher, the extension vibrating against her clit, the beads rotating in her ass, the erotic words filling her mind with images of rape and violation and being used as much as any slave could hope to be used. she rides the vibrator in her ass, presses the extension against her clit, closes her eyes and gives herself over the the powerful orgasm the explodes from inside her.
It's all she can take. anal play is hard for her. she cleans herself and her toy off and puts away her book, knowing she will visit it again soon.
The humiliation of what she has done is already setting in. she knows she will have to tell Daddy what she has done.

Ahhhh, play is good!

Tue, 09 Sep 2008 00:35:59 GMT

Spent the weekend with Master and had a wonderful time. Started out with Saturday. Daddy took me shopping. He bought me some sexy new boots and i bought some sexy heels to replace my fetish shoes that are on they're last leg. He's so patient and great to take me from shop to shop to find just the right ones. He also bought me a sexy ass PVC mid length skirt. i personally think it's a bit small, but I think Daddy likes the way it show off my booty. ;)
We went to the Woodshed after the shopping. (a local BDSM club) It was our first time going and i was a bit nervous, but knew i'd be safe with Him. i wore a pretty dress for Him and He let me wear my collar. my sexy new shoes completed the outfit with a pair of fishnet thigh highs. We watched for a while. A beautiful suspension, some spanking, etc. Daddy finally put me on a long barrel shaped type cushioned piece of furniture. i was laid down on it with my arms and legs hanging down. He secured my arms down and lifter my dress. it was embarrassing to be so exposed. He left several times to look at the array of floggers, paddles and crops available for His use. I was afraid he's leave me there, getting wet, trembling in fear, afraid to look around. But He was never far and never took long.
i took a punishment in that position for i don't know how long. It seemed for hours. He alternated from flogger to crop to paddle to hand and back again. i tried to stay strong. i tried not to be a pussy like the other subs who cried. But He pushes me. He seems to know just when i can't take it anymore and pushes just a little bit further. i finally couldn't contain the tears, the sniffling and it was all i could do to maintain some pride and not outright sob for everyone to see. When He finally took me off and sat down with me, i surprised myself by crying. i don't know why, but after being pushed so hard, i'm so grateful that Daddy really DOES love me and doesn't hate me that i break down and bury my face wanting to crawl inside Him for safety. He told me i did good and fingered me to give me release and in a few minutes i went to clean up in the bathroom and was ok again.
After some recovery time, we walked around and watched a demonstration of fire play. i had never seen it done before and was curious. It looked so erotic. Daddy asked if i'd like to try. i wanted to, but took a few minutes to finally tell Him. i was a bit afraid. But He held my hand as fire was applied to various spots on my chest and back. i could have shivered with delight if not still a little frightened. It was such an erotic feeling. The flames dancing on my own soft skin. Burning but not. And in a second, over and wanting more. i'm so happy Daddy let me experience it.

Daddy and i both needed sleep after such a long night. But in the morning, i went to Him and cuddled up. We talked about dreams we had and the experience the night before. i played with His cock and teased His balls. i tasted and licked and sucked. i offered my ass to Him that day. Anyone who reads my blogs knows how difficult anal sex is to me. But it had been a long time and Daddy's birthday is coming, so i was determined to give it to Him that day. After a couple tries, i was able to sit all the way down His cock and move and bounce. He then laid me down with my legs by His head and pounded my tender little ass hard. He allowed me to touch myself and as i rubbed my clit to climax, He came deep inside me. i felt every pulse of His cock empty Himself into my ass, filling it up. i was so proud to be able to give it to Him and accept His cum in my ass. And i think He was proud of His little anal slut that day.

We had some things planned and places to go. But afterwards were able to have some down time and watch a movie together. But of course, Daddy was looking for more by the time the movie finished. He pulled my blouse down and pinned my arms to the wall as He took my nipples in His mouth and teased them. He forced me upstairs and ordered me to strip. He forced Himself into my waiting pussy and pounded it doggy style making me scream and cum. He flipped me over and again fucked me hard until i came that way as well. i then sucked and stroked His cock until He came, ordering me to catch it all in my hands. He took my cum filled hands and wiped them down my tits, over my belly and thighs. i rubbed His cum onto me, relishing in being His cum slut and feeling the hot cum quickly grow cold and sticky on my skin. He ordered me to dress, leaving the cum on me for my drive home. It was sad for the weekend to end, but at least i had plenty of wonderful memories to fall asleep to. :D

Memories

Mon, 02 Jun 2008 00:41:51 GMT

Recently i had a new experience with my Master. While staying at His house, we were in His computer room. i had been instructed on what to bring, but had settled on His favorite bra and panty set and a sexy little dress that i hoped He would like to arrive at His house. He instructed me to stand and bend over a little chair He has for me in the room. He pulled my skirt up and i stood exposed for what felt like a very long time. He was lightly rubbing my pussy through my panties and i knew i was getting wet and swollen from His touch. He was doing something i did not know what while teasing me. A few soft moans and whines escaped my lips and i tries to push my pussy against His hand to feel some relief. i earned several very hards spanks at this act of selfishness. After this i fought hard to stay still.

After what seemed like forever i was instructed to remove my dress and i knelt in front of Him. i started to pleasure Him with my mouth while He was on the computer. After a while He let me know that i was on webcam and people were watching the job i was doing on Him. i had never been so embarrassed! i knew i was turning red but didn't dare stop. He instructed me several times to look up at the camera and after a time, i tried my best to look sexy and do a good job and overcome my embarrassment so as not to let Him down. It was like my greatest fears and greatest desires happening all at once. i felt truly like His property that He could use and display as He chose. But i also felt a sense of pride that He would consider me worth showing off. Luckily, He turned the camera off and i was able to accept His load with just the privacy of Him and me.

Afterwards i was rewarded with His cock inside me and some time being cuffed to the bed while His tongue and fingers worked their magic on me. He allowed me to cum repeatedly and with the use of my favorite purple toy, He enticed me to squirt like only He is able to make me do.
I'm so grateful for Master's generosity and abilities!

Dirty Little slut

Mon, 21 Jan 2008 18:20:16 GMT

i've been such a dirty little slut lately. All i can think about is sucking and fucking and having Daddy use me. i spent the weekend at Daddy's and was lucky enough for Him to let me suck Him off a couple times. it felt so good to have His cock in my mouth. Licking and sucking. Bathing His balls with my tongue. i love being in my place, kneeling in front of Him. my mouth being used for His pleasure. Daddy put me against the wall and fucked my mouth again while restraining my arms. i'm learning that i really like this most vulnerable position. Only being able to breath when He allows. Doing my best to take Him down my throat all the way to His balls and letting my tongue work over His shaft and listening to His sounds of contentment all the while knowing my very lifes breath is at His control.

Twice i took His cum into my throat, savoring every drop. And yet still i could not stop licking and teasing with my tongue. His cock never even got soft with all my coaxing. i could have sucked Him all weekend if He had allowed me. i wanted to be His oral slave and His cum slut. And as much as my pussy throbbed and begged for attention, i would have been content to live in torment, never coming if only i had been used by Him all day and night. But Master is good to His little slut and rubbed or fingered me to coming several times this weekend. i just couldn't get enough and found my fingers and hands wandering to my pussy over and over again.

And here it is Monday and i'm at work. my pussy is still throbbing at the thought of His use. He ordered me to the bathroom to rub my slutty pussy until i came. As embarrassed as i was, i followed His orders and masterbated in the employee bathroom. my pussy is still puffy and wanting use even now.

i had a dream last night that didn't help matter. i was gagged with a spreader bar on my legs. i was wearing only a garter with thigh highs and heels. my hands wear attached to hook high on the wall. There was another couple there, i don't know who. i remember feeling so embarrassed and vulnerable in the dream. Dripping in excitment and anticipation.

sigh

Mon, 17 Dec 2007 18:21:38 GMT

Sometimes i don't feel like psoting here. But it's Master's wish, so i do it. Sometimes it's hard following orders. Sometimes it's not convienent. Sometimes i just don't want to. It's always so hard for me to write when i'm not motivated. All i really want right now is to cum. i'm so horny i can't even think straight. my pussy is a steady throb of need. i can't concentrate on work, i don't want to be here. i want to be in daddy's arms. i want to be getting fucked hard. i want to feel His hand on my bare ass. i want His fingers deep inside my pussy feeling every little spot that sends me flying. i want my nipple clamps punishing my tender little nipples. i want to be restrained and used until every hole is hurting and i'm covered in His cum. i want to be degraded until i cry only to be degraded some more. i want to be used like a little slut.

Writing this is making things worse. i want to reach under my desk and rub my swollen pussy. i need some relief. Lucky i'm going home later to pick up a change of clothes. i'll take care of myself then.

Yesterday was so good. Master fucked me good and hard. i love a good doggy style. He made me cum so many times. With His fingers, the purple toy, His cock. He had the purple toy in my pussy and my ass at the same time at one point. i sucked His cock at the same time. i felt like such a used little slut. i love being filled up and used by Him. i hope that one day He allows me to feel what it's like to suck one cock while getting fucked with another. i've had that fantasy a long time.

Horny, horny horny. i need it bad today. And i won't get to see Master. *sigh*

No pain

Mon, 03 Dec 2007 20:31:52 GMT

i was at Master's house yesterday. We always have fun together and did some xmas shopping together and stuff.

when we got home, Master requested that i change into my black garter belt and stockings and nothing else. i was quick to oblige. We went into the living room and He sat on the couch. i automatically went to drop to my knees in front of Him. i was hungry for His cock and wanted to suck Him. He told me to stand and told me to start touching myself. i did and started to move when instructed. not much, just a moment, but i remembered my lesson from last time and the bruises that are still healing. i climbed up on top of Him and gyrated my hips against His hard cock while kissing and touching Him. He touched and kissed and eventually put me on the couch facing back so He could slide His delicious cock into me. It felt so good i could almost have cum just from feeling Him fill me up. He fucked me hard and good like only He can. His cock pounding into me over and over and bringing me to orgasms so great.

i guess as a reward for listening to Him, He pulled out my favorite purple toy. Really something for anal play, but we've found that it can make me squirt and i get wet just from the thought of it. He fucked me with the purple toy while i was still kneeling on the couch. It felt so good i could hardely stand it. i could see between my legs and see the steady drip slowely forming a puddle on the couch under me. i could feel His whole hand was soaked and i ws embarrassed but it felt so good i could never have wanted it to stop.

After making me cum that way, He asked what i wanted. i told Him i wanted the giant dildo to be stretched. He got the dildo and the video camera as our agreement was the next tiem i got that, He would be video taping it. He plnated the dildo on the floor and instructed me to sit on it. i tried to protest that i needed lube, but He did not agree and told me to just get on it. He video taped that dildo stretching my pussy to the max and hurting me sliding in. After watchign me fuck myself on it, He stood in front of me and i sucked his cock while riding the dildo. my gods that was soooo good! i loved being filled up in both ends and being made to feel like a little slut.

He eventually took me to bed and fucked me with the giant dildo. It's always better that way. He pushes me to take more. i took it as long as i could. I climbed back on him after it was removed and rode my Daddy. (i had rode His cocl at spoem point in the living room, but forget the exact sequence of events as i'm prone to do when i'm in state)i ended by sucking Daddy with a blow job i thought was one of my best as i just wanted his cock so badly. And was careful to not spill any when He came in my mouth.

Daddy gave me everything i had been caving. He knows how to touch and tease and fuck me so well. i was horny when i got home, thinking about all we had done. i masterbated once before closing my eyes to sleep.

i'm a bad sub :(

Tue, 20 Nov 2007 20:35:32 GMT

i don't know why. Master takes care of me, protects me, knows what's best for me. So why don't i listen? Why do i disappoint Him?

Master had a simple request of me this weekend. Dance for Daddy. i refused. He paddled me and told me again. Dance for Daddy. With tears in my eyes, i refused again. i was paddled again. i screamed it hurt so bad. He asked again. Are you going to dance for Daddy? i could only shake my head sobbing. He paddled me again. my ass was on fire. i tried to squirm away. i screamed. But still, when He asked again, Are you going to dance for Daddy?, i again shook my head no. There was no music, no one else dancing and i felt embarrassed. Why? i have no idea. Daddy likes the way i dance. He likes to see my body move.

my ass was paddled so many times it bruised and turned purple. The holes in the paddle left round marks. And i still would not dance. my collar was removed. A butt plug stuck deep in my ass. i sucked Daddy as well as i could hoping to earn favor and have Him let up on me. He didn't. i didn't deserve lenience. Daddy fucked me hard with the butt plug still in my ass. his cock felt so good and i had a powerful orgasm. Daddy then removed the butt plug and fucked my ass. i tried to fight it. He's too strong for that. Daddy gets what He wants.

my ass is still bruised. i can feel it sitting. In the shower when the water hits it. It bleeds. But i did not deserve any less. i was a bad sub and disgraced my Daddy's ownership.

Play

Wed, 14 Nov 2007 20:26:36 GMT

Master came over last weekend and we were able to sneak in a little play. i showed Him my favorite story from the book i've been reading. It's about a sub with a rape fantasy who's Master/ Husband makes it come true. she get's used by 6 guys in all her holes and is very much a little slut. i always get off reading this story.

Master got hard reading it as well and i got to touch and play with His cock. i stripped and He played with me as well. Nothing i love more then His touch and His kisses.

i was unable to suck His cock like i like so much due to neck pain, so we had a mutual masterbation session instead. He teased my pussy with the head of His cock while i rubbed my clit. i wanted so bad for a hard fuck, but we had no time. He cut off my breath while i masterbated, which i love so much. It makes my orgasms so strong and puts me in sub space so quickly.

But the best part was when He came. i was laying on the bed masterbating. He got up over me and came all over me while i got to look up at His cock and balls and see all that wonderful cum shoot out onto my tits and stomach. It reminded me of a part of the story. He came so much and i rubbed it all into my skin feeling it go from hot and slick to cold and sticky. It coated me from neck to pussy and felt so wonderful. Master cums so much. i love feeling His cum on me.

Quick play

Tue, 16 Oct 2007 16:25:11 GMT

Sometimes there jsut isn't time for a full session and Master and i need to play when we can get a minute. This weekend was one of those times. But we were able to steal a couple minutes to play in His bedroom.

Master had been in a mood all day and of course, i had as well. He had teased me a couple times, playing with my pussy until i almost came. He had smacked me and pulled my hair and was getting hard from the little tortures He was causing me. He droped His pants and had me suck His wonderful cock. He fingered my ass hard and it was all i could do to keep sucking and pleasing Him while my ass ached and my pussy throbbed. Though it's sometimes hard for me to think of new things to excite Master, i told Him of a dirty thought i had of having Him cum all over me and being made to dress with the dried cum still on me. So of course in His fashion of making my fantasies come true, that's what He did. He came enough for three guys coating my tits and back and stomach.
i pleaded that i didn't really want to walk around smelling like sex and wanted to wash it off, but He insisted that i remain that way and left me to get dressed. It was a terrible feeling, but i pulled my clothes on and remained cum covered for the rest of the day. It was such a turn on to feel the dried cum pull on my skin under my clothes. And i was proud to have Master's cum with me the rest of the day.

i'm so grateful that He makes my fantasies come true and pushed me when His little sub is tentative.

Anal slut?

Tue, 09 Oct 2007 18:22:00 GMT

Anal play has always been something that i have a very hard time with. And of course, it's something that Master likes and even more so, likes to threaten me with. i've always felt bad that i was not a good anal slut for Him. i've tried to become better, but i always thought it was something you could handle, or it wasn't.

Lately, i've been craving anal play. i'm on some medication that relaxes my muscles and i'm finding it very pleasurable to be fingered in the ass to the point of begging Master for it. Sometimes even two fingers or His thumb. And the most surprising thing is that i'm actually coming from it.

Last night Master and i went to play pool. Afterwards we were playing in the car. after a good spanking that left my cheeks red and marked, He fingered me in my tight little ass. It felt so good and i came from it, bent over His lap in the back seat with my pants pulled down to my ankles. It feels so dirty to like the anal play and to want it so much. i'm embarrassed by it. But it also gives me the hope that i can become a good anal slut for Master so that i can please Him every way He wants.

Master is so patient and caring with me. He knows that whatever i'm lacking, i will one day want if for no reason other then to not disappoint Him.

Delicious Monday pain

Mon, 08 Oct 2007 17:27:49 GMT

i'm at work still feeling the delicious pain from my visit to Master's on Sunday. Every time i twist, my bra brushes my sore nipples. my legs are still weak and the muscles feel like i ran a marathon.

After regular activites we needed to tend to on Sunday, i had a photoshoot with my Master. (He's a photographer and i'm a model) We did some fetish style shots that we've been wanting to do for a while and they came out great. He had me in handcuffs and collars and of course it felt so good!
We went to lunch and then i had the delight of Him taking me to our favorite adult store. i wanted a new Halloween costume. We both love Halloween so much. i tried on multiple outfits and modeled them for Master and ended up getting a sexy french maid costume. It will look great with a collar. LOL

So of course since we were there, we had to browse the toys. We wandered trying out whips and crops and collars and scaring the vanilla couples. i saw a beautiful bright red patent leather collar that I thought was so gorgeous. Master tried it on me and must have liked what He saw because He bought it for me. :)

On the way home, of course i was so turned on from all the toys and dirty things we saw. Master teased and made it worse until i was rubbing myself through my jeans and begging to cum. He smacked my face a couple times while we were driving and allowed me to cum. At home i was ordered to strip to panties and heels and follow Him upstairs. i asked about a bra and he said no with an evil little smirk. i knew this was trouble and was immediately wet and scared at the same time. He had told me that He got some nipple clamps for me. i had never had them on and was very afraid i wouldn't be able to handle it. Knowing that i wasn't allowed a bra let me know what was going to happen.

i went up to His room and was ordered to sit on the bed. He pulled out the most beautiful nipple clamps i had seen. They were attached to a back collar with heavy silver chains that hung to either side of my breasts and lopped back to my nipples. i was so proud that Master bought such a pretty pair for me. He sucked and bit each nipple and attached the clip to them. They hurt very bad. They were heavy and pulled on my sensitive little nipples like nothing I had felt. He made me go look in the mirror at them and while they hurt so bad, i have to admit that they looked very sexy and made me a proud little slave. I would like to get to a point where i can wear them all the time when we're together so that i can feel so special. i know Master loves me because He picks the best, most beautiful things for His slave to wear.

Another thing Master and i had discussed on our way home was a video tape of our play. Until now i was always afraid and embarrassed to do it. It had been a limit for a long time. i conceeded that maybe i would try, for His pleasure. He vidoe taped how i looked in the nipple clamps and then Him whipping me bent over the end of the bed. He ordered me to keep my eyes on the camera, but i couldn't. i couldn't help but shut my eyes and wince every time the flogger stung my ass. i think the humiliation of being taped in my degredation was something i could really do without. i didn't mind being taped while sucking Master, or masterbating for Him. But to know my tears and cries are being captured is too embarrassing to me.

After being whipped, Master put me face down on the bed and spanked my ass red. He started out so ahrd and so fast i had no time to adjust to it. I writhed and cried and begged Him to please stop. And i blurted out something i had never said to Him before. "please no more, Daddy" i had never called Him Daddy before and He asked me to repeat what i had said. i was afraid i would turn Him off but He prompted me to say it again. i was so glad the camera was not to see this part. me being spanked like an insolent little child and begging Daddy to please stop and not spank me anymore. But i liked calling Master Daddy. i don't think i want it to replace Master, but when being spanked like a child, i liked the added humilitaion of it. i could definitly do it again if it pleases Him.

After a good punishment, i sucked my Master while He video taped it. he said I did such a good job and that always makes me proud. I tried to let Him see my eyes and my little pink tongue running over His thick cock. my mouth stetchign to take Him all in. i kissed and sucked His balls and tried to do all the things i know He likes. When He came, it was in my mouth while i kneeled in front of Him with my mouth open and tongue out. While sucking Him, i did notice something i hadn't anticipated. The heavy chains from my nipples swung with every stroke and pulled my tormented nipples. i tried to hold the chains while i sucked, but i was more concerned about doing a good job.

After i had pleased Him, He put me on the bed with one arm restrained in a cuff. He put two littel silver eggs inside me and turned them on to watch me writh under the vibration. i needed reliefe so bad since sucking Master's cock always makes me so wet. i reached down with my free hand and masterbated, always asking permission to cum. i was so stimulated and excited that i came repeatedly with my legs shaking so badly that Master had to hold me and calm me. When released, i could hardly stand. i think Master was pleased with me.

i was so tired driving home that night. i had some new things to think about. As fearful as i am of them, i think overall i like the nipple clamps and will grow to love them as i do my collar. i discovered that i liked calling Master Daddy in some cases. i did not liked being video taped, but that is for MAster's pleasure and i can do it again if He wishes.

Now i'll go back to work and think about seeing Him tonight every time the fabric tortures my sore nipples.

Fun

Wed, 26 Sep 2007 19:00:41 GMT

i got drunk out playing pool with Master on Monday. i ended up in the back of His jeep with my pants pulled down and getting a good spanking. Needless to say my ass is still bruised. i needed that. And I got His talented fingers in my pussy and my ass. Master always knows what i need.

i saw Master last night!

Tue, 18 Sep 2007 15:38:03 GMT

Master and i have talked a couple times in the last couple days. Last night we agreed to meet to talk through somethings. It was so good to see Him. i missed Him so much. Nothing beat the feeling of Him wrapping His arms around me and holding me close.
Without going into too much detail, we agreed to give things another try.

That first kiss my Master was something else. He was always able to make me wet with just the feel of His mouth. By the end of the night, He was kissing me like we hadn't in so long. i couldn't get close enough to Him. i couldn't kiss Him hard enough, couldn't get enough of he feel of His lips. We were in a parking lot, so not much could be done. i felt His cock through His pants and it was so hard, straining against the fabric. i always loved that He got hard kissing me.

i offered to suck His cock and take His cum. He told me no. He told me to go home and play. my pussy was throbbing so strong by now. i was so tired, but i knew i would masterbate before falling asleep. i got home and changed my clothes. Crawled into bed and thought of his lips. Remembered the feel of His hands in my hair. Remembered the feel of His cock as i pushed against him. i imagined the first feel of His hand on my bare skin. And the way He could finger me like no one else. And it was with the thought of His fingers deep inside me, with me restrained, that i had in my head when i rubbed myself through my pajama pants until i came. Tired and breathless i went to sleep thinking of His whispered words of licking my pussy and ass, of fucking me and punishing me.
i'm owned again.

A story.

Mon, 10 Sep 2007 00:26:28 GMT

He opens the door to find her standing there with tears streaming down her face. “I’ve been so stupid, Sir” she chokes out. He knew she was on her way. He had been surprised to receive her call. Would she run again? Could she handle things? He intended to find out. He was going to test the level of her devotion.

He allowed Himself a moment to embrace her, feel her skin against Him and smell her sweet fragrance. The feel of His arms around her made her cry all the harder out of relief and comfort. He stepped aside and allowed her inside. “Remove your pants and top” was all He said before placing a bottle of wine on the counter and one glass. He left the room to go sit on the couch and put the ball game on the television. Shaking and trying to gain her composure, she removed her top and pants leaving her in the bra and panties she knew He loved so much and a pair of heels. she calmed her hands to open the bottle and pour a glass of wine. she did not dare take a sip. she takes the glass and kneels in front of her Master, making sure to not block his view of the game. she holds the glass out to Him and waits for Him to want it and take it from her hands. she kneels with her head down for what seems like forever waiting for His acknowledgment and instruction.

He finally unzips His pants and she moves to take His cock in her mouth. she whimpers as she tastes Him and hopes He can tell how grateful she is by how enthusiastically she sucks on Him. He finishes His wine and roughly pulls her head from Him by her hair. His instruction to her is only one word, “upstairs”. she’s afraid and trembling. Unsure of what He expects, she decides to crawl instead of risking angering Him. she blushes going up the stairs knowing He is behind her and has a view of her almost exposed parts. She reaches His room and stops in the middle of the floor with her head down waiting for Him. He goes to His trunk and removes some items and tells her to sit with her back against the end of the bed. He removes her bra and places nipple clamps on her. This is something they have never used before. she’s excited by this new toy, but quickly realizes these are not for her pleasure when He tightens them down. The pain is unbearable. she risks one pleading look into His eyes, but He will not meet her gaze. He cuffs her hands to the bed at either corner and places a spreader bar on her ankles. A blindfold goes over her eyes. she briefly feels a gentle stroke on her hair………and then He leaves!

No, no no, He can’t leave me here, she thinks. Anything would have been better then this. she hears the front door lock and his car start up and pull away. her desperation is unbearable. With all the loneliness she has felt lately, this is the worst. her blindfold is soon soaked with her salty tears and she fights to control her breathing. If only He had put her collar on her. That one small comfort would have been something. she has time to think of the last couple weeks. Maybe it was too long. Maybe He was too hurt, too angry. Maybe He did not want her anymore and only hoped to hurt her as she had done to Him. What had she done by coming here? Maybe it was all a big mistake and now she didn’t know what would happen to her.

The room has grown dark and her arms have gone numb. she feels more miserable then ever and is feeling sorry for herself when she hears His car pull up and the lock in the front door. she listens to Him downstairs as He moves about. Finally she hears His footsteps on the stairs. she has a new fear and starts to shake once more. she hears Him come into the room and go into the trunk, but can not see anything. she begins to cry again and tremble uncontrollably. He unlocks her ankles and wrists. He pulls her by the hair and turns her around until she is standing bent over the end of the bed. He cuffs her wrists to the bed and the spreader bar on her ankles once more. Why does she allow this to happen? she is frightened beyond belief, so why does she not stop things? Just forget that she came and go home? Because she knows, no matter what, she belongs to Him. If she’s never with Him ever again, she will still belong to Him.

she scarcely has time to get these thoughts out before she feels the intense sting of the wood paddle hitting her ass. she cries out and tries to moves, but she can’t. He paddles her over and over and she writhes and cries until her legs can’t hold her anymore. Everything turns into one big pain and she can no longer separate one blow from the next. Finally He stops. she has not said the safe word, she has not asked Him to stop though she can hardly stand. she’s sobbing uncontrollably. she has one moment of relief when she feels His hands on her, feeling her, pinching her tortured nipples. But just that touch, that small gesture, brings her back to why she’s here. One small brush of the lips against her neck lets her know that she is not hated. she is wanted. And then she feels her panties slide down and a lubed finger goes into her ass. Without hesitation, she feels His cock pushing against her tight hole and she does her best to relax and allow Him in instead of fighting and trying to pull away like she has so many times before. she hopes He will recognize her submission in this one act she has always feared so much.

her ass is on fire from the beating she has taken. she does all she can to take this latest punishment. He fucks her ass and pulls her hair until He comes deep inside her hole. He pulls her panties up, takes off the blindfold and uncuffs her. He pushes her to the floor once again. He gives her a bottled water and places some strawberries in a bowl in front of her. she drinks greadily and just stares at Him. There is nothing to say. she knows things are in His hands. But decisions can be made later. For now, they both have gotten what they needed. He knows she belongs to Him, now more then ever, and she knows that He still loves her. He goes downstairs and she eats the strawberries left for her, not realizing how hungry she had become. It’s late, and she has not been sleeping much. The adrenaline has worn off and she’s more tired then she can ever remember. He comes back upstairs with a blanket she has used many times before. she must talk, must tell Him just one thing. “You do know that I love You, don’t You?” “yes” he says, “I know”. He lays a pillow at the foot of the bed and leaves the blanket. He is not ready to have her in His bed. If she’s still there in the morning, He’ll figure out what to do from there. she curls up in the blanket and tries to get comfortable with all the pain she’s feeling in her ass and nipples. she spends a few minutes listening to Him fall asleep and the pattern of His breathing before she can’t stay awake any longer and falls into an exhausted sleep.

lost s

Tue, 04 Sep 2007 21:22:17 GMT

How does one describe the utterly unfulfilled loneliness of a sub with no Master to serve? i never thought i would miss so much something i had only had so briefly. i was always so proud that i could take so much pain that You would give me. More then Your other subs had been able to take. i miss the humiliation of being led through a party on leash and collar, everyone knowing who i belonged to. Being displayed and exposed to those You saw fit. The beauty of the leather cuffs at my wrists and ankles. The sting of the shower water against bruised flesh.

There are so many things we talked about that we never got to try. Who's feet do i sit at now hoping for some acceptance? Who is there to push my limits and show me that i can do so much more then i thought possible? Who will understand that sometimes pain is pleasure and the need for both can be so great? Who's approval will i seek when baking Their favorite dessert or pleasuring Them orally? Who will know when i need punishment? Who will write me stories to make my pussy throb?

i miss my Master. i miss serving.

for Master

Mon, 03 Sep 2007 22:50:58 GMT

This is a poem i wrote a long time ago for Him.

The silence takes my breath away
i hear You pace the room
Within these ties i’m forced to stay
You will be with me soon

my heart starts racing faster, faster
Your breath is in my ear
i’m here only to please my Master
And push aside my fear

Anticipation draws my mind
As close to me You speak
i pull and test the very bind
That makes me oh so weak

The need i feel grows ever stronger
As my fear i face
You tease my senses ever longer
Not offering a taste

But time will offer no release
Until i can not stand
And beg You over and over please
The feeling of Your hand

Finally i feel You close
Your touch does thrill me so
And give me what i need the most
And delight in my woe

Submitting to You in every way
To do with as You please
i will obey just what You say
So long as You will tease

dreams

Sun, 26 Aug 2007 00:59:56 GMT

Last night i dreamed about Master. (i will not call Him former or the like, because for me He was my only and always will be)

Master knew how to touch my body in ways no one else ever has. He knew just what to do and when to bring me to unknown heights of passion. It is of this i dreamed. The details are fuzzy as they can be in sleep. But i know i was bound on His bed as i had been so many times. It must have been after much play because my skin was slick with sweat. Master was fingering me. i could see into his eyes. Those stormy, passion filled eyes. And He was demanding of me to cum. Cum for Him now. And i did. i woke up in mid orgasm. If you have never woke up cumming before, it is a strange and powerful feeling.

But passion was soon followed by immense loneliness. i felt so empty knowing i would never again feel His touch. i fell back asleep crying. But not before whispering one last time

"i came for you Sir"

Broken bonds

Wed, 22 Aug 2007 14:06:04 GMT

i am no longer owned. my Master and i have split and it's with a heavy heart that i write this last entry as a submissive.

i want to thank Master for bringing out a side of myself i always knew existed but didn't know just what it was. He taught me not to deny what i am and not be ashamed of the things i need and crave. He introduced me to so many new things and pushed my boundaries past anything i thought i could handle. i've been tested and teased and pleasured beyond belief. No one will ever be to me what He was. my boyfriend, my best friend, my lover, my Dom.

i will not have another Master. i will not be owned. i will always be submissive, but not A submissive. i'll never feel the crack of the flogger against my skin. i will not feel the helpless desperation of being gagged and bound. i will not crawl and sit as someones feet.

i will not feel the security of a pretty pink collar wrapped around my throat.

i will enjoy the fantasies and memories. And i will be grateful for my time spent in His ownership. but i will never have another Master.

It's been so long

Thu, 16 Aug 2007 16:40:48 GMT

It's been so long since this sub has had any play with Master. i had surgery and He had to be careful with me until i started feeling better. So this past weekend i got a welcomed relief.

We went to the adult store the i love so much. i needed some non sexual things there, but hell, while we're there, might as well have some fun in the bondage section, right? i ended up buying two wigs. Master liked them both on me, but i think He was partial to the short blond one. Blonds do have more fun, right?

We explored the bondage section and i could see the change in Master's eyes. He looks so serious when thinking of things to torture me with. i always watch for His eyes to go dark. Like a storm is brewing. He tested a few paddles on me and we talked about things to scare the vanilla couples. LOL, i like doing that. The expressions are priceless.

So leaving with no new toys, but treasuring the wigs i found, i couldn't help but put the blond one on while riding in the car. It was fun and Master liked it.

When we got home, Master ordered me upstairs. He knows i get wet going to the "bad store". My pants came off and Master stood behind me kissing my neck and shoulders. i felt myself melt at his touch. His kisses were so sweet on my skin. i leaned back into him, silently hoping He wouldn't ever stop. But pleasure only lasts so long and i had been a smart ass, getting away with so much, for too long. He told me one day i was going to be sorry for my sassy remarks. i was very fearful. i was bent over the footboard, eyes closed, legs spread. i have to admit i was relived when i felt the leather of the flogger. Out of all the things to spank me with, i know i can takes the flogger and derive pleasure form the sting of the straps against my skin.

But Master knows just how to swing that flogger so that the straps wrap around my ass and bite into the very same spot on my flank, over and over until it feels as though i'm being hit with needles instead of the sensual soft leather. Eventually i was ordered to the bed whee i was spanked some more. Tears came to my eyes but i bit them back from falling down my cheeks. In some way it felt so good to be spanked. Like something had been missing for so long. i never thought i'd crave a spnaking. i'm embarrassed that it's part of me. But i'm so glad that Master knows it's part of me and He gives me what i need and deserve.

after the punishment, Master made me cum so many times in so many ways. He used my favorite toys and his talented fingers to drive me over the edge of bliss until i couldn't take any more. i hadn't felt such pleasure in so long. i almost forgot how Master knows my body better then i do and can make it respnd in ways i can't. i was exhausted and asked for no more. He knew it was the first time we'd played since my surgery, so He was careful to not push too much. Master loves me and wouldn't want to jeopardize my health.

He got up to wash the toys while i caught my breath on the bed. And then i did something i know i should never do. i don't know why i did it. Maybe i thought the rule was unfair. Maybe i just wanted to go back to the smart ass i've been lately. Maybe i just wasn't thinking. But i rolled over and looked into the truck where Master keeps all the toys locked up. i didn't even get to glimpse anything before He turned to talk to me and caught me looking. i knew i was in trouble. i tried to apologize and back peddle. He really didn't want to hear it. i earned myself the paddle. Out of everything to be spanked with, it was my biggest fear. There is no pleasure from being spanked with the paddle. The pain is too much. i took my paddling. i hated it even more for knowing i was getting it for being so stupid. i like being able to take the pain Master gives me and it's humiliating to know that i'll be reduced to tears in moments and kicking and begging for no more.

But for all the pain, it was good getting to play a bit with Master. A feeling like some normality is returning to my life.

Sometime i shouldn't be left alone

Fri, 02 Mar 2007 00:04:06 GMT

i had a really bad day today. i mean really bad. i came home crying and frustrated and ready to forget the whole day. SO i drank. i mixed up a couple of appletinis and drank them down to forget about the day. Master was under the weather today and i knew He was sleeping. i missed Him. Master always makes things better. Master can always take my mind off things.

But He wasn't here. And i was drinking. So I turned to the internet to see what was interesting and could take my mind off things. So i do a quick search. BDSM. Four simple little letters. There are always some pop ups that will appear with that search. i don't need much. Just a few images. Something to get me through the day. And i'm not disappointed. It doesn't take more then a few clicks to see things that make me start touching my little wet pussy. Sluts dresses as schoolgirls taking a cumshot on their face. Whores writhing in pain as a grotesquely huge dick penetrates their ass. Sick little chicks getting fucked by various dogs and horses.

i don't stop on any one image. i click over sites, being led from link to link and my mind wanders and my pussy grows swollen. And my numb drunkeness gets the better of me as i feel that growing need to have something in my pussy. But Master is not here. And i'm left alone with my wonderful toy that Master permitted me to buy. i slip into the bedroom and lube up the giant vibrator. i pull off my pants and lay on the bed with the sick images fresh in my mind. And i think of what Master would say if He was here. He would think badly of His little slut. Maybe He would punish me for my sick internet wanderings. And with that thought of being over Master's knee as he spanks me for my dirty deeds, the vibrator slips deep into my pussy and begins to work it's magic. i'm somewhat numb and very turned on and seeking excape. It takes more then a minute for me to explode and shake in the orgasm i needs so desperatly. Each shudder bringing a relief and escape that i have needed all day. i bring myself to one more orgasm and then take the vibrator from my now much more satisfied hole.
my day was still bad, but at least now my mind is one something else, even if just for a moment. i patter off to the computer to let Master know of my activities. i think he'll be pleased.

Conflict

Sun, 18 Feb 2007 16:30:27 GMT

Sometime i fight an internal conflict with my slave self. A battle between everything i've been taught growing up and the slave inside me that i've always known i was. Is it possible to be a strong, independant woman and still completely submit to my Master's will? Or in the simple act of giving my power to Him, is that strength and power in and of itself? And the more strength and power i have to give to my Master, does that make my gift of submission all the more great? i know there will be a day i will no longer stuggle with this. That i will cast aside my struggles and become the slave that i know i can be. i think of that day. i know what it will be like.

i will come to You that day, to Your house. You will be in Your chair when i come to stand before You. Prepared as You would like. i will stand before You in silence as the tremble in my voice would betray my fear. i will begin to strip as You watch, not in a sexual way, but in one that will make it clear that i am giving myself to You. my shirt will come off and drop at my feet revealing a pretty little bra that i know You will approve of. A bright flush will be obvious on my breasts and will creep up my neck to my cheeks as You watch to see just what it is i'm going to do. With trembling hands, i will unfasten my skirt and push it past my hips to drop to the floor. i will step out of it, trying not to show the fear of dissapointing you. i will stand in embarrassment and trepidation as You inspect me. i will try not to shrink from Your probing eyes. Because i will be there for You, and i know You would not have me as Your submissive if i did not please You. After what will seem like eternity, but will only be moments, i will reach behind me to unclasp my bra. i'll slide the straps down my arms and another garment will fall, discarded to the floor. my blush will deepen and my erect nipples will stand out against the flush. i will resist the urge to cover myself in humiliation as the time for that has long past. Once given to You completely , there will be no more room for humiliation unless that is what You desire from me. And You will be the one to administer it. i will not have to reach down to feel my pussy to know she will be swollen and ready for You. And I know that the panties that i slip my fingers under and push to the floor will be wet with the anticipation of Your hand. Stepping out of the panties, i will be left with nothing other then my shoes. my slave shoes, if You will. The straps and buckles binding my foot into them, only to be released at You will. my hair wil be loose as You like and there will be no necklace to hide my throat from You.

Still without uttering a word, i will drop to my knees, eyes still locked on Your face. i will crawl to Your feet and drop to offer soft kisses on the top of them. In one last final act of ofference, i will kneel up, head bent and eyes lowered. my arms behind my back to not block my nakedness from Your view. And the only words i will utter, my last as the independant woman and my first as a true slave.......
"Master, i surrender"
And in that moment, that eternal moment when i wait to be accepted or rejected, i will be finally free. Free of the conflict i have battled so long. i will finally let go, unquestioning.
i will surrender.

Danielle

Fri, 26 Jan 2007 18:48:22 GMT

i've thought about Danielle a couple times since that night in the pool hall. Unfortunately i have not talked to or seen her since. But one can have fantasies, right? ;)
So i've allowed my mind to wander to some pleasant thoughts of her recently. i shared these with Master the other night while i was tending to His needs. Master has this wonderful bed with iron work at the top and bottom. (What other type of bed would one into bondage have?) So my fantasy involved being restrained to the end of the bed while standing. Arms outstretched and attatched to the corners of the bed with cuffs, forcing me to bend over some. Legs in a spreader bar and of course, my collar on. Though this fantasy does not have a long buld up or much detail, it still is a pleasant thought that gets me where i need to be.
So i'm restrained and bent over. Master is behind me fucking me hard like only He can do. Danielle is in front of me, kneeling on the bed. I picture her in some cute corset type lingerie top. She kneels up in front of me and guides my head towards her. i reach forward with my tongue and start to lick tentatively. i can feel Master's hands digging into my hips as he continues to pound me and tell me to do a good job. Danielle reaches down and slips her fingers into my hair and pulls my face into her. my nose is buried into her clit and my tongue is working as best it can on her hot pussy. my cries from my orgasm are muffled into her as Master brings me to orgasm.
i'm not sure how this scenario should end. Perhaps it's something that will develop in my head in the near future.

Playing pool

Tue, 09 Jan 2007 16:18:27 GMT

Monday nights are pool nights for me and Master. We go to the same place all the time and they know us there. So last night, as usual, we heading to the pool hall for some much needed stress relief.

Seemed like a pretty typical night, we were having fun. Then Master points out a girl at the table next to us. She's a pretty little brunette and is being ignored by her boyfriend and his freind. Master says that she keeps looking at me and He thinks she likes me. i don't really believe it, but since she looks bored, i ask her if she would like to play with us. Of course this is with Master's permission. She claims to not know how to play but seems excited to have something else to do other then sit and watch the two guys act like idiots. i offer to help her with the shooting.

well, details are kind of fuzzy since i had been drinking. But somewhere in the game a bet was made, and kiss was exchanged between me and her. Much drinking and fooling around later, there have been more kisses and i really like her.

i have to say, though i will never have enough of Master's kisses, there is something completely different and special about kissing a woman. and this one knew how to kiss. Her lips on mine were so soft i just wanted to eat them up. i think Master was amused watching me with her. i wished her boyfriend would disappear and she would come home with us. i wanted to explore more. see what she looked like under those clothes. Feel how soft her skin is. And for some reason, i wonder what it would be like to take her in a bath or shower and allow our hands to soap each other up and just linger and explore as much as we like.

But at some point I think her boyfriend got annoyed with our antics and pulled her away. i'm so lucky to have a Master that allows me to play. i think He and i could have had great fun with this one. Like our own little play doll. I haven't been this attracted to a woman in quite a while. i'm sure i will think of her more.

Feelings

Tue, 19 Dec 2006 17:51:11 GMT

So i've been under the weather lately. First a sinus infection, then this creepy allergic reaction rash. Master has been very good taking care of me. Gave me a wonderful and sensual bath, but that's a whole other post.

So today i'm feeling better. i guess i'm feeling a bit frisky again. lol. i did my usual routine getting ready for work, sending a quick email to Master when i got on line at work. But it seems that someone wants to play today instead of work. Apparently i've been neglecting my little pussy and she's craving some attention. Don't know why she's decided to act up this morning. I guess she's feeling better too.

Some days i feel more submissive then others. i'm sure it happens to all subs. And today i'm feeling especially submissive and needing my Master's firm hand. And it seems that i'm craving something i've never craved before. i understand that Master needs to punish me and discipline as he sees fit. i accept this and try to take the punishments the best i can. But today, to my shagrin, i've been craving a good spanking from Master. my little bottom wants to feel the bite of His hand coming down on my tender skin until it's stinging. The thought of being over His knee, squirming against the stinging just makes pussy swell with anticipation. This is new for me. i don't usually enjoy my spankings. It makes me feel embarrassed that i want this. Like a spoiled little child that needs to be dealt with.

Master told me today that He has some things planned for us when we can spend some time together next week. he said He wants to break me. i have to admit that with the mood i'm in today, this got me very wet. i don't know exactly what He has in mind, but i'm sure i will enjoy it. i'm a little fightened that it will be more then i can handle, but i know that Master knows best.

The stocks part two

Thu, 07 Dec 2006 15:12:58 GMT

At Master's wishes, i thought about the stockade scenario to ellaborate on it. This is what i came up with.

Master has brought me to a fetish club and we've been admiring the various rooms and devices at our disposal. We've talked to various couples along the way. Upon entering one of the rooms, we see a set of stockades set up in the room. Master tugs my leash in that direction and i hear him laugh a bit to himself. I ask what's so funny. He replies "let's see how you like having one of your fantasies some true little one." i'm afraid but excited and i feel my pussy start to throb in anticipation.

He leads me to the stocks and puts my head and arms inside, locking me in tight. The height makes me bend over pretty far. He pinches my thighs in order to make me spread my legs and I feel Him secure my ankles to restraints on the floor. He gives my ass a good smack and comes around the front. I can only lift my head so far due to the stocks, but do my best to look up into his eyes and plead with him to go easy on me. He just laughs and gives my cheek a little smack.

He starts talking to a couple we have talked to a bit earlier in the night. It's a tall brunette Domme with her male slave. After a brif conversation She comes forward and begins to inspect me along with Master. She is wearing leather gloves and the feel of the rough hide on me is exciting. Master takes a pair of nipple clips with little weights attached to them from his pocket and attaches them to my nipples. They swing painfully and the tugging brings another throb from my pussy as i feel her get wetter and wetter. my juices are dripping down my thighs. After Her inspection and a few breif kisses with Master, She runs her finger up my thigh and I feel the gloved finger slid into my wet waiting hole. The rough stitching scraps as She plays and I feel Master insert His thumb into my ass as They continue to kiss. my hips move desperatly to try to free my ass and gain some sort of relief from this fingering before it's taken away. Master has not let me cum all night. i start to whimper and Master takes Her finger from me and tells her" no cumming for this little slut yet"

She laughs and moves to the front of the stockade so that I can see Her. I find Her very pretty and want to please Her. She asks MAster about my oral abilities. He invites her to find out while He uses my other holes to His pleasure. She steps up on a platform in front of me, bringing Her pussy in line with my face. She grabs my head and buries my mouth in Her pussy and i eagerly lick at Her clit. Master can see the exstasy on Her face as He plunges His thick cock into my soaking pussy. i let out a muffled scream at how good it feels filling me up and i feel His fingers digging into my hips as He fucks me. The rough rocking motion sets the weights from my nipples swinging violently, the rhythem cause a delicious mixture of pleasure and pain that i fear i can't stand.

i continue to lick the best i can and am soon aware that She has instructed Her slave to lick her from behind at the same time. he sits underneath Her and licks feaverishly, our tongues flickering breifly against one another. She lets out a cry as our tongues bring Her to a hard orgasm. She hold my head against her as She feels the waves wash over her.

We've learned from this couple that he has been a switch in the past, and while he is never allowed to Dom her, She does sometimes allow him to Dom others in Her presence. She asks You if he may use me as well and You agree. He then climb in front of me and pushes his cock deep into my mouth as I try to scream out my orgasm Your hard fucking has given me. She comes around to You and begins to kiss You again as you continue to fuck me. She playes her finger into my ass with one hand and runs her hand through Your hair as She kisses you with the other. All i'm aware of is the cock fucking my mouth and the one fucking my pussy. my body is alive with pain and pleasure and i'm in exstasy. Before i know what's happening, the cock has pulled out of my mouth and i'm left to survey what's in front of me. We've attracted quite a crowd and i'm suddenly embarrassed and humiliated at my position. You give me one more incredible orgasm and then pull out as i feel Your cum spill out on my ass. i hear You tell her "on her back, this slut loves to have cum all over her" and i feel the cum being pumped out of the slave by his Mistress. i can feel the hot cum drip down my sides as Yours starts to dry and pull at my skin. She runs Her gloved fingers through the mess on my back and ass, adding to my degredation and discomfort. The three of You come to stand and chat in front of me ignoring that i'm even there and leaving me used up and exposed for others to see. After a few minutes, the other couple thanks You and walks away and You come to lift my head and look into my eyes. "Did you enjoy pretty girl?" "Yes Sir, thank You! Yes i did!" You free me from my restraints and lead me to a bathroom where You put me in a shower and rinse off my back. After toweling me dry You have me dress again. You give me a gentle kiss as You secure my leash again. "you did such a good job" you tell me as you lead me out to join the party again.